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Ann Landers
At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
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Carol Matthau
The dying process begins the minute we are born, but it accelerates during dinner parties.
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Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it Christmas and went to church; the Jews called it Hanukkah and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say Merry Christmas! or Happy Hanukkah! or to the atheists Look out for the wall!
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Dorothy Parker
Drink, and dance and laugh and lie,Love the reeling midnight through,For tomorrow we shall die!But, alas, we never do.
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Evelyn Waugh
She had heard someone say something about an Independent Labour Party, and was furious that she had not been asked.
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Fred Allen
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.
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George Gordon, Lord Byron
Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputatious, then unintelligible, then altogether, then inarticulate, and then drunk. When we had reached the last step of this glorious ladder, it was difficult to get down again without stumbling.
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Hawkeye, Pilot Episode, 1972
You know, we've got to do it someday... throw away all the guns and invite all the jokers from the North and the South in here to a cocktail party... last man standing on his feet at the end wins the war.
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Katherine Whitehorn
The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.
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Nancie J. Carmody
I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
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P.J. O'Rourke
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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P.J. O'Rourke
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
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