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Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
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Groucho Marx
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
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Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
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Groucho Marx
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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Groucho Marx
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
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Groucho Marx
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
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Groucho Marx
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
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Groucho Marx
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
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