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Fran Lebowitz
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Fran Lebowitz
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Fran Lebowitz
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Fran Lebowitz
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Fran Lebowitz
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not.
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Fran Lebowitz
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
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Fran Lebowitz
In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Fran Lebowitz
Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep.
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