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W. C. Fields
A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
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W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.
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W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
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W. C. Fields
I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.
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W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
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W. C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
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