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Amanda Vail
Sometimes I think if there was a third sex men wouldn't get so much as a glance from me.
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Anita Wise
A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don't think it works like that.
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Author Unknown
Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
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Author Unknown
Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
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Author Unknown
I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me!
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Author Unknown
Jesus was a typical man - they always say they'll come back but you never see them again.
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Author Unknown
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.
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Author Unknown
Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece.
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Author Unknown
There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.
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Author Unknown
Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
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Author Unknown
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!
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Author Unknown
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Author Unknown
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Author Unknown
Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Bella Abzug
I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.
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