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Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
House, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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Author Unknown
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
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Author Unknown
I am grateful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and floors that need waxing because it means I have a home.
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C.E. Cowman
I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.
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Charles Dudley Warner
No man but feels more of a man in the world if he have but a bit of ground that he can call his own.
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D.H. Lawrence
Unless one decorates one's house for oneself alone, best leave it bare, for other people are walleyed.
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Doug Larson
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.
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G.M. Weilacher
One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duck tape to make them stop.
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James Dent
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
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Joe Ryan
There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house.
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May Sarton
A house that does not have one worn, comfy chair in it is soulless.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days.
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Woody Allen
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
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